


[Phase Zero]

by lesbianoodle



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Confusion, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Minor Violence, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Canon Compliant, Phase Zero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 19:51:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9008707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianoodle/pseuds/lesbianoodle
Summary: There wasn't really a word to describe the way that 2D and Murdoc were with each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cruel World](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465836) by [latinsimona (shadow0fdeath)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow0fdeath/pseuds/latinsimona). 



> I read a fic and I was inspired to write my own. 
> 
> I've never written for this fandom before, please go easy on me.

"Now Murdoc, it’s been known that you’ve developed some issues with 2D over the years. How do you create music with 2D if you can’t even stand to be near him? Your bio in the Gorillaz website states that you hate 2D, and 2D also idolizes you Murdoc." The interviewer knew her stuff, "So tell me. Tell me a bit about that." 

The relationship between Murdoc and 2D had always been confusing. It blurred the lines between friendship and loving and hurting so often that most people gave up on trying to understand. Especially 2D. When asked what he thought of Murdoc, he would simply shrug and say something like "he's alright" or "he saved my life, yeah?" or he'd shake his head. To 2D, it seemed that him and Murdoc had known each other since forever and that made their relationship something that couldn't be described with words. Words didn't fit. 

Being with Murdoc wasn't like being with a friend or a brother or a girlfriend or an enemy, it was sorta like being with all four of them at once. When they had first met, Murdoc had been more of a reluctant caretaker of him, it seemed. Though 2D couldn't remember much of the accident- he could remember lying facedown briefly and feeling very, very sticky with what he would later realise was his own blood- he could remember a little of the coma state that followed. He could remember the humming in his ears and the faint sound of Murdoc either nearby or in the distance. A harsh voice that 2D couldn't quite manage to reach. 

Murdoc liked to describe what they did for that year as "mucking around" but 2D had no idea what that entailed at all. He could barely remember anything except for the faint sound of voices and sometimes, the sound of an engine roaring. But Murdoc made it sound like they had a good time together and for a while, 2D didn't question that at all. 

He was woken up by the coma by the feeling of his face smacking hard into something. 

That was when Murdoc finally managed to wake him up by smacking his brains back into working order. And maybe they were scattered a bit in the process but 2D wouldn't realise that until later. At the time, he could only remember the distinct feeling of waking up and finding it difficult to see as well as he used to. Pushing himself up off the ground and finding himself lying on the road- seeing the edge of the pavement that must have smacked his brain awake.

He remembers seeing the blood staining the curb and his hands and thinking "huh, that's my blood". Wiping his face on the sleeve of his shirt and ignoring the throbbing pain in his right eye. Slowly, he pressed his hands into the ground of the parking lot and rose to his feet with a small stumble that comes from being asleep for a very long time. More blood, dripping steadily. And spinning around and seeing for the first time since the accident, Murdoc's face. 

He had completely forgotten what Murdoc looked like, having only briefly glanced at him the first time before being smacked in the face with a car. The tinted skin, the discoloured eyes, the dark hair and the upside cross that rested on his chest all seemed familiar but new at the same time. It was like seeing somebody that he used to know. Eyes widening, 2D took in the expression that was painted across Murdoc's face. There was some kind of shock written deep into his features, probably at seeing 2D like this, and a kind of fear. He looked... Almost scared? 

Murdoc always said, when telling this story in interviews, that was the moment when he knew that he had a singer for his band. The moment that 2D stood up and looked at him, a "blue haired God with fractured eyeballs". 2D didn't remember feeling like a God, he remembered feeling like shit as his eye ached and his head echoed with the pain of hitting it. He remembered how the shock started to fade and the pain started to enter his brain. The pain started to enter his head that would fade over the years thanks to drugs but never truly leave. 

The girls Murdoc had been trying to impress scattered quickly, leaving just the two of them at the scene. Just the two of them standing in the car park at the Tesco in Nottingham, both of them in shock. 2D stared hard at Murdoc, drinking in how he looked before he could fall asleep again. But he didn't fall asleep again. He didn't pass out. And the longer he stood there awake, the more sure he was that he wasn't going to fall back into his coma ever again. Then, his legs buckled under him and he landed on his arse in the car park. 

2D's legs couldn't hold him up any more, now that the rest of his body seemed to have finally caught up with his brain, and he had to heave himself to sit on the curb. People started arriving quickly after that and he heard a couple of people clamouring for ambulances. But for that brief moment between waking up and people starting to gather, it was just him and Murdoc. And maybe it was that moment that sealed their relationship together for life. You don't just experience something like that with somebody and never see them again. 

Murdoc came and sat by him until the ambulance arrived, seeming shaken up. He'd deny it for years afterwards but Murdoc almost seemed concerned about 2D. Scared for him. His breaths had been shaky and he kept saying "Oh, Jesus" under his breath like he'd forgotten that he was a satanist. Murdoc didn't hang around once the ambulance got there but he patted 2D on the shoulder before disappearing, car busted and his bass guitar strapped to his back. As he watched him walk away, 2D couldn't help but stare. He knew they had a bond now. Him and this bizarre, angry man had a bond that neither of them were going to forget. 

Honestly, 2D didn't think that he was ever going to see Murdoc ever again. He'd almost forgotten the man existed, a few days into his hospital stay, before the green-skinned devil slunk through the door of his hospital room. By that point, 2D had decided that the man had saved his life. After all, it only made sense, yeah? Murdoc had somehow managed to knock him awake, bring him back from a coma they thought wouldn't end, and saved his life. Maybe 2D's mum didn't see it that way but it wasn't her who got saved, was it? 

When Murdoc came into the hospital room, it took half a second for 2D to recognise him but when he did, there was a kind of elation in his heart that he couldn't describe. The kind of excitement he wasn't sure he was ever going to feel again. Like a jolt of electricity sent through his bones and he was on his feet immediately in an attempt to... To what? To hug Murdoc or shake his hand or just say something? Punch him? In the end, he ended up just reminding him of who he was just in case he'd forgotten. Like a reintroduction since they hadn't really met the first time but Murdoc just rolled his eyes and asked how it was possible that 2D got stupider. 

And that was when 2D really met Murdoc, for the first time, fully awake and blinking at him. They were friends after that, sort of, because Murdoc needed a singer for his band. 

While 2D had been in his coma originally, Murdoc said that he'd spoken a bit to 2D's mum in the waiting room of the hospital and she'd said something about him having a good singing voice. Shrugging at him, 2D said that he guessed he was okay but he liked playing the keyboard better but Murdoc cut him off quickly, asking if he wanted to be in a band with him. Murdoc played bass guitar, (and was always showing off about it back when 2D was asleep if 2D was remembering the vague, confusing things he sometimes heard correctly). Since 2D didn't really want to go back to working Saturdays at a shop, he agreed. 

They had a few jam sessions together after that in Murdoc's flat- even though 2D's mum really didn't like him hanging around there- and 2D came to realise that when Murdoc wasn't yelling at him or calling him face-ache, he could be okay. Murdoc was definitely a decent musician, which was good enough reason to hang around his flat. 2D came to look forward to the afternoons and evenings he spent with his new bandmate. 

The unspoken rule was that 2D always had to arrive sometime after one otherwise Murdoc would still be piss-drunk from the night before. He had to give him at least until one to sober up and wake up, unless he wanted to be hit over the head by a scowling Murdoc. When he arrived with his keyboard, Murdoc would normally show up to the door half-dressed and let him inside, still looking a little bleary eyed and exhausted. 2D supposed that he could understand since he didn't sleep much either since the accident. He was almost scared to. What if he drifted off for a moment and ended up in another coma-like state? Once he asked Murdoc if he was scared of sleeping too but Murdoc just threw a crumpled beer can at him. Called him an idiot. 

Murdoc's apartment was a lot like the man himself: unfinished and underdressed, filthy and grungy in the kind of the way that could be considered rock and roll, and smelling heavily of whatever he was busy with last night. More often than not, the apartment smelt of thick cigarette smoke or the vapours of pot hung around in the air like a bad smell. It used to make 2D cough or wrinkle his nose but it was a smell that came to be familiar to him, almost comforting. The smell of Murdoc. He breathed the taste in, probably on a secondary high. 

The wallpaper was ugly and peeling off the walls and there were posters plastered over the top to cover the yellowing wall behind it. The carpet smelt like beer and piss most of the time and the lighting was always yellowing and dark. 2D's eyesight had been worse since he'd woken up from his coma but this time, he knew it wasn't just his eyes playing up. Murdoc refused to let any sunlight into his apartment and 2D was so grateful for it because bright lights tended to give him headaches and migraines nowadays. He liked sitting in the dark with Murdoc. There was a kind of intimacy that came with them lounging on the floor in his front room with their instruments spread out lazily- music was something that came easily to them both. 

They worked together like that, so laid back that what they were doing could hardly be considered working at all, playing a few notes or humming a few tunes. 2D would sometimes sing, when he was feeling like it, and they would be songs he knew and liked or songs that came to him in surprising moments of inspiration. Murdoc didn't complain about it too much, so he must have liked it at least a little bit. When they sat there, Murdoc would talk a lot about the future as he strummed his bass. He had lots of hope for fame and money and more sex in the future as long as the two of them worked together like this. 2D just nodded along to the sound of him strumming his bass, feeling sleepier and sleepier in the dark room with the good music. 

More often than not, they'd ended up talking about things other than music and the band as they played. Murdoc talked about his parents sometimes and how glad he was to be free of them, though it still seemed like they were haunting him somehow. He talked about other things too- a lot about the girls that he shagged or the concerts he went to. Sometimes, he asked questions about 2D but that was only when he had a lingering drunkenness from the night before. He was really curious about 2D's hair, which was a shade of blue that shouldn't even be possible, and sometimes toyed with it, interested. He said it was very rock and roll. He never talked to 2D like he was stupid and that was what 2D liked so much about him. 

In the middle of playing, Murdoc would sometimes fish around for a cigarette and say they were taking a break while he had a fag. He inhaled and exhaled like it was an art, puffing smoke into the air so that it hug around their heads. 2D sometimes shuffled up next to him and breathed in shallowly like he knew to do, Murdoc pressing the cigarette to his lips for him, before exhaling. It seemed to delight Murdoc that he knew how to do it. 2D got quite good at smoking during those waning afternoons and long evenings that he spent in the apartment, even if it did mean chewing a lot of gum at home and washing his clothes a lot so his mum wouldn't find out. His mum already thought that Murdoc was a bad influence on him. 

It had been after a few weeks of these afternoons that Murdoc announced that he was going to take 2D to see some live music. They went together to a cramped bar that smelt like a slightly cleaner version of Murdoc's flat and they pressed against a back wall, waiting. When it took a while for the music to start, Murdoc said something about getting them drinks and squirmed his way through the crowd until he disappeared from sight. 2D wasn't happy to be left alone but he knew it wouldn't be long and stayed where he was, leaning against the wall and sweating through his shirt from the heat. He'd been to places like this before but only small pubs with his friends and that had only been a couple of times before. This place was too big and too busy. 

Murdoc returned and pushed a drink into his hands, mumbling something about them only serving complete crap at this place. Even though the drinks were pretty crap, Murdoc still drank much more than 2D, going up for more the longer they were kept waiting. He started getting angry and ranting to himself more than anybody, clipping 2D over the ear when he asked if he was okay. 2D whimpered quietly. When the live music finally started up, something seemed to lift abruptly from Murdoc's shoulders and he straightened up. There was a light shining in his eyes that 2D normally only saw when Murdoc was lost in plucking the strings of his bass guitar. The music seemed to awaken something in him. He looked more alive. 

Frowning, 2D tried to understand why Murdoc had brought him here in the first place. Normally, Murdoc didn't want to be seen with him and shoved 2D out of his flat early because he was planning to go out and couldn't have him hanging around. The music was good, yeah, but 2D didn't think it was any different than listening to music on a radio. He decided, as he watched the band kick about on stage and perform- they didn't just play, they performed- that he'd much rather be the one playing the music on stage. Live music was something he'd like to do. Maybe Murdoc brought him here so that he would realise that but when 2D glanced back at him, his bandmate wasn't paying any attention to him. Screw him too, then. 

Afterwards, both of them had to duck outside. 2D was sweating and biting his nails, anxious from being in such close quarters with strangers, and Murdoc was craving a smoke. He could have smoked inside- 2D wonders if he followed him outside because he gives a shit about him being mugged or something. Murdoc leant against the wall, trapping a cigarette between his teeth and lighting it, inhaling needily. He offered it to 2D and for the first time, he used the insult that 2D would come to love. He called him Two Dents 'cos of the dents in his face where his eyes used to be. Wordlessly, 2D took a drag from his cigarette and handed it back. 

He wasn't sure how long they were there before some other guys came over to them. At first, 2D smiled toothily at them because he was sure they were just gonna bum a smoke off them or something. But as they approached with sneers, he realised that they might be a lot more like Murdoc than he initially thought and blinked nervously. There was about three or four guys, older than 2D but a little younger than Murdoc, and they laughed at what they said like they were funny. They talked a lot but 2D didn't listen, zoning out and trying to hide behind his much shorter bandmate. 

One of them noticed and grabbed 2D by the hair and shoved him backwards, laughing. 2D hit the wall and a pain spread quickly down his back, making him wince. He let out a grunt but didn't fight back, which only seemed to make them leer more at him. 

That's when Murdoc ground his cigarette under his heel and told them that they don't get to talk shit about his best mate. 2D didn't even know that he was his best mate. When the other guys didn't back off immediately, Murdoc clenched his hands into fists and stepped towards them. One of them laughed at him and that's when Murdoc, without hesitation, started beating the crap out of him. It happened so fast; 2D blinked once and Murdoc had the guy on the ground, hitting him repeatedly and without a hint of regret. Maybe it was because he was drunk but he was defending 2D and the singer couldn't do anything but watch in complete surprise. Murdoc kicks the guy on the ground before turning to the rest and raising an eyebrow. One of the guy mutters something about not looking for trouble and Murdoc tells them all to fuck off. 

The guy on the ground was heaved to his feet by his mates and then they scrambled away. One of them yelled something back at them, a single word, but Murdoc just stuck his middle finger up. And then, he told 2D that they should get out of there and get him home before his mum worried. The younger man obediently followed him as he stormed off, though he protested that he didn't want to go home. And Murdoc asked where the bloody hell he wanted to go then. 2D tells him that he wants to stay at his place so that Murdoc can protect him from those guys. Murdoc, looking frustrated, rolled his eyes and said alright then. He didn't care. So, 2D trailed him all the way back to his flat where the lights didn't work and everything smelt bad. 

2D had been to the flat a million times before but he'd never slept there before and as they entered, he looked around for where he would even sleep. The couch most likely but Murdoc had told him several times about the women that he had nailed there and the ways he'd done and since then, 2D hadn't been able to look at the couch the same way. He always sat on the floor by the couch, on the opposite side of the rug from Murdoc. Never next to him. 

Murdoc still seemed pissed off and he went straight to his room, which 2D had only seen two or three times over the last month or so. He left the door open, which is unusual, and 2D took that as an invitation to follow him in there. Groaning, Murdoc collapsed onto his bed and scowled at where 2D is lingering in the doorway, like he was doing something wrong. 2D really didn't want to get hit over the head, which is something Murdoc does to him when he's pissed, so he went to retreat but Murdoc told him to just come over here. Said something about him killing him if 2D so much as breathed a word about Murdoc being nice to him tonight. 

It's a double bed but it was still difficult for both of them to fit- maybe because 2D is over six foot and the bed wasn't long enough to fit his legs on so he had to curl up or because Murdoc kept trying to pull the covers to his side. After a lot of shifting around and kicking, they finally managed to fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw. Originally, Murdoc faced away from the singer in an attempt to ignore him but he gave in and rolled over because it was easier for him to "sleep on his left side". Murdoc scowled at him and 2D realised that he really doesn't understand his "best mate" in the slightest. He doesn't even know if Murdoc likes him or not. He fell asleep to the smell of smoke and the sound of Murdoc's chest rising and falling. 

2D woke up because he was cold and realised Murdoc had successfully managed to steal the covers from him while he was sleeping. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing the blue locks back out of his eyes and yawned. He glanced at the clock and realised that it's already close to midday. Normally, 2D's mum would have made him get up long before now. But she wasn't there. And he just laid back down, pulling some of the covers back from a disgruntled Murdoc, and waited for his bandmate to wake up. Murdoc didn't rise from the dead until two. 

When he finally did, he opened his eyes blearily and frowned at 2D like he couldn't work out what he was doing there. Then, he seemed to remember and growled something under his breath. Murdoc moved one arm from where it's been trapped under 2D and lets it rest across him instead. And then, in the low tired tones of a half-asleep Murdoc, he started talking about some studio he's bought. At first, 2D thought he was just mumbling nonsense but as Murdoc woke up, it seemed more and more cohesive. Murdoc really has bought a studio. And he was telling 2D that they're going to move into it as soon as they possibly can. Sometime that week. 2D asked how they're going to live there. Murdoc rolled his eyes like it's stupid question. 2D asked when he bought the studio. Murdoc said he's gonna go and take a shower. 

Things seemed to move much quicker after that as they spent the next week or so packing up their things in preparation for the move. Moving took up a lot of time and they had less time to spend on music, much to their mutual annoyance. A busy Murdoc also turned out to be a grouchier Murdoc and he started snapping at 2D for being in the way more often than usual. 2D tried his hardest to keep out of his way as he stacked boxes and boxes of belongings. But still, 2D couldn't resist the urges to look at some of Murdoc's things before the boxes were taped up. He had the largest collection of metal music 2D had ever seen and sometimes when he caught 2D looking at it, he'd play one of his old tapes for him. 2D wasn't sure he understood metal as well as Murdoc did but he pretended that he did. 

On the penultimate night before they left for Kong Studios, Murdoc said fuck this to packing any more things and told 2D to "put one of his stupid zombie movies on, yeah?". They still had one day left before his electricity got cut off from lack of bills anyway and 2D was more than willing to push one of his goriest zombie movies into the player, collapsing beside Murdoc on the filthy couch. Murdoc didn't watch a lot of zombie movies but it still didn't seem to phase him in the slightest; he watched it with the same expression most people would wear when watching paint dry. He said he couldn't understand why 2D would watch this rubbish. But he didn't protest when 2D told him to shut it and started leaning against him. 

By the end of the movie, 2D was falling asleep propped against Murdoc's shoulder, eyes already closed most of the way as he watched the credits roll up the screen. He remembered being surprised that Murdoc didn't shove him away- Murdoc just grumbled something about him being a clingy bastard and moved his arm from being crushed by 2D leaning against him. He didn't force 2D to go home that night either and let him sleep on the couch with his face pressed into Murdoc's old shirt which had worn soft over the years. For the first time, 2D felt some sort of sense of home. With Murdoc. Which was stupid. 

The night before they left for Kong Studios was fucking freezing in the flat because the electricity and heating had been cut off in the flat. There was almost no difference between the temperature inside and outside, so they spent most of the evening out on the balcony. Murdoc rolled a joint and they passed it back and forth between them; 2D felt more and more dazed every time he took a hit, which he guessed was the point of it all. Murdoc kept muttering about how this shit was for hippies. 2D stopped remembering much of the evening by the time they'd nearly finished the joint but he remembered talking a lot more than they usually did. And Murdoc sitting out on the balcony with his bass, playing it to the night. 

2D's sharpest memory of the night was looking at Murdoc and thinking that it might be a bad idea if he kissed him right then. And then wondering where that thought had come from. And then inhaling once more from the joint and moving closer to him. Murdoc was talking kind of to him but kind of not to him at the same time and 2D was just listening to the sound of him playing his bass. It made him sleepy. The next thing he knew, his lips were locked with somebody else's and he could taste Murdoc's apartment inside his mouth. Murdoc tasted... He tasted like smoke and booze and pot and he tasted like something old. Familiar. 

They didn't shag, thank god, but 2D did wake up on the balcony what felt like shortly after that. He was wearing one of Murdoc's jackets with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and his head was resting on Murdoc's chest. Murdoc was threading his fingers through 2D's hair and talking about how stupid he'd been last night, over and over and over. He'd been high, he hadn't been thinking straight and it was a mistake, Murdoc kept repeating over and over again. 2D said they didn't have to tell nobody and just pretend that it never happened. Murdoc seemed startled by the fact he was awake and swore at him, shoving him away. And they'd never discussed it.

There wasn't really a word to describe the way that 2D and Murdoc were with each other. Sometimes, they were as close as they had been that night on the balcony- they'd kissed more than once since then, always when Murdoc was drunk or high as a kite. But other times, Murdoc would call him an idiot and smack him over the head in a scolding kind of way. Murdoc called them mates but they gave each other shit more often than not- 2D grew more cocky over the years when it came to making fun of Murdoc in return, which normally didn't end well. 

2D never really knew what to say in interviews when they asked about the two of them. It was well-known by the media soon enough that Murdoc said he hated 2D and their back and forth in interviews didn't go unnoticed by the fans. Normally, 2D just said that Murdoc was alright because that was true. He was alright sometimes. He could be alright, he could be more than alright, or he could be less than alright. Murdoc was hard to pin down. 

Murdoc was speaking now, speaking the utter rubbish that he always did when they were in interviews like this. Saying things about 2D's "special needs". Shaking his head, 2D reminded himself of where he was. Sometimes, he completely zoned out in these interviews. He barely waited for Murdoc to finish speaking before he started. 

2D added. "You can’t do without me, simple as that. You’d still be living in a Winnebago in Stoke if I wasn’t singing. Knocking off barmaids on a Friday night… if you were lucky."


End file.
